Ha ha OF COURSE Walking Dead s8 mid-season finale was terrible, but…

MJG All Reviews, TV, Walking Dead 0 Comments

Ha ha ha – of course the Walking Dead season 8 mid-season finale ‘How It’s Gotta Be’ was terrible!! It is not even interesting to talk about the bad things in it because they are basically all of it! So now I am going to pick out the good things:
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– When the trash heap wankers scuttled away at the first sign of trouble. Yes! F off back to the shitheap you came from, and stay there until Rick comes round (again) to kill your stupid spiked walker. Like a goddamn metronome…
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– When Carl listened to the house (house-whisperer) and it told him a grenade was about to land on the roof (and blow up from the interior), so he had time to RUN CARL RUN!
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– Negan getting misty-eyed at Carl. Actually, genuinely liked Negan’s response to this. The whole Carl dying thing is obviously utterly stupid, but there is something touching the way Negan quite likes him. Best relationship on the show.
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– Enid killing the Oceanside woman!! Ha, serves you right for creeping around in the dark like a walker. Leave that shit for Rick.
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– Hanging out in the sewer. Those are some really massive and comfortable sewers, for sewers underneath a really rural neighborhood. Big enough for Pennywise. Maybe he’s there too?
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– ‘The Widow’ rolling over like a coward, not even trying to fight. Negan obviously has the right approach in repeatedly trying to cow these people. They are clearly all as lily-livered as hilltop leader Gregory. Such cowards that, when their lives are on the line, they won’t go down fighting, but when they have the power, they will execute randoms, for no meaningful reason.
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– ‘The King’ loping around like he didn’t get shot in the leg so bad the other day that he couldn’t even walk through toxic sludge. Have him dive off some rooftops in a hood too, to fulfill the Assassin’s Creed-y feel.
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– Consistency of Negan’s tactics. Block roads with trees. Kill one person as an example. You have to love someone who plays the favorites, again and again.
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– Wine-shotting Eugene. What a F-ing pansy. Shoot the wine, gulp it down big boy! Yeah, that’ll help you sleep. Gulp it DOWN!!
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– Carl getting bit. About damn time. He’s been emo for too long. Time to trim some deadweight, methinks. I hope they kill everyone left except for Rick, Darryl, and Negan. Negan has to wear like gimp suit or something, but Rick and Darryl bring him along because there’s no TV, and he’s good for entertainment. Especially kill Tara, and Enid, and the priest, and the King unless he bucks up his ideas, and Gregory, and the Widow, and Judith, and just basically start over, on the road again. “Well, I guess we really learned some lessons, huh?” Rick says to Darryl. Darryl grunts. They kiss. Fadeout…
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– Who else could survive? Maybe the leader of the trash people? She joins Negan in the back seat, obviously wearing gag. She could be fun in the final road trip. Not Morgan, too sanctimonious. Not Simon, too much like Negan-lite. Bring along, like, Glenn’s skull or something. Put it on the dash and tap it reverently every now and then, for good luck.
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– I wanna see Rick go mad. Like, properly mad. Not just phone calls from his dead wife, but like totally slaughter everyone mad. Run around just killing people, his team, the other team, until Darryl grabs him and brings him down. Give him a hug. A quick kiss? I don’t know, it’s just ideas…
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– Roll on the next half-season! ALL OUT WAR, BABY!!

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