Japan’s sexy Coca Cola

MJG Food / Drink, Japan 5 Comments

It’s not often this site gets sexy. Occasionally you’ll get your dabblings in Coppertone bikini girls or your Girls Generation Cheetos, but never explicitly sexy. Here though we’ll get explicit. We’ll get sexy. If you’re a minor, avert your gaze. Everyone else, buckle up and batten down, cos here we go:

Phew, somebody get a dehumidifier in here, it is steaming UP.

OK, so maybe that picture is a little deceptive. It looks a lot like a regular convenience store shelf, packed with delicious nutritious soft drinks. From right to left we see Coke, CC Lemon, Oolong tea, and Japanese soda. But widen your gaze somewhat and you’ll get the context.

Yes, that is darn sexy. Various nefarious sexual products line the shelves.

So what is this Aladdin’s Cave where soft drinks sit by sex products? It is the sex corner of Picasso, an off-shoot brand of the major variety goods store Don Quixote.

Here’s the Don K in Ginza.

Inside Don Quixote (or Picasso, which is basically the same thing minus the more outlandish stuff) they’re typically a claustrophobic chaotic mass of products, signs, and noises, quite difficult to navigate through without knocking stuff off shelves. Image from here.

So what’s the deal with these imitation drinks? Let’s take a closer look.

Alright, a generously boobed manga-lady with the curly Co- of the Coca Cola in sight.

Then at last, the curtains part and all becomes clear. Cola Lotion.

Yes, it is a sex lotion. Branded thievingly (and disparagingly to the Coke brand) but with great straight-faced aplomb, it is a very generous, 990 yen helping of Coke-colored lubricating jelly.

Which is the real CC Lemon here? I expect you’ll have a hard time discerning the difference.You can compliment me on my photoshop cropping skills if you so wish 🙂

It’s called CC Lemon for the bold claim that it contains 1400mg of Vitamin C, the equivalent of 70 lemons. Handy. What then is this EQ about? Perhaps its the E version of IQ, Emotional Intelligence, a very necessary supplement when attempting to effect wonders with the opposite sex (and convince them into your boudoir).

Alright, that’s enough pandering to the baser instincts. Let’s get back to some silly branded snacks!

See more weird Japan content here:

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If you’re interested in Japan’s haikyo (ruined / abandoned buildings) check out the web’s best galleries here.

See MJG’s fiction here.

Comments 5

  1. Ian Grist

    Great post Mike. I still keep up to date on your blog and always enjoy the stories. Glad to see you are still growing and your site looks awesome. Hope everything is going well!

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