Comments on: Celibate Jayne the Hammerhand @ TQR http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/2008/04/celibate-jayne-at-tqr/ a Ruins Explorer and SF / Fantasy Author in Japan Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:20:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: MJG http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/2008/04/celibate-jayne-at-tqr/comment-page-1/#comment-44 MJG Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:13:19 +0000 http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/?p=55#comment-44 Thanks Jeremy, I pointed out that mistake to the editor at TQR yesterday, happily he's fixed it already. About the difficulty- it has been reworked a number of times to make it more readable and accessible. Earlier drafts were a lot harder to get into I think. It's hard to cut, but once done, it's good. like spending money. Interesting that you felt the page 17 END was a strong end. Exactly where to end a story is always an issue. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it! Thanks Jeremy, I pointed out that mistake to the editor at TQR yesterday, happily he’s fixed it already.

About the difficulty- it has been reworked a number of times to make it more readable and accessible. Earlier drafts were a lot harder to get into I think. It’s hard to cut, but once done, it’s good. like spending money.

Interesting that you felt the page 17 END was a strong end. Exactly where to end a story is always an issue. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it!

]]> By: Jeremy http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/2008/04/celibate-jayne-at-tqr/comment-page-1/#comment-42 Jeremy Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:25:14 +0000 http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/?p=55#comment-42 Hey! That's a good read; total quality read, I guess. Weren't some of the criticisms of Celibate Jayne that it was indecipherable? Didn't seem so to me, but then, you say it's been reworked. Anyway, excellent balance of description and action–I was compelled to read on and on. Here's a bit of interest: at TQR, on page 17 of the article, at the bottom, it goes like this: <blockquote> He kept on. END <i>For MJG's bio, turn the page</i></blockquote> So it seemed to me, as I finished that page, that the story was done there. And then it went ahead and continued for one more page. Surely a mistake on the account of the webmasters at TQR. But then, perhaps because I'd already, momentarily assumed that <i>He kept on</i> was the end of it, I kind of felt that that was how it should've ended. Now the final page with Elspeth is nice, but to me it seems almost unnecessary. Certainly he allows her touch, and that is important to his character, and what do I know? I guess that premature <i>END</i> really threw me off! And I thought it interesting that it did. Anyway: excellent, and congratulations! Hey! That’s a good read; total quality read, I guess. Weren’t some of the criticisms of Celibate Jayne that it was indecipherable? Didn’t seem so to me, but then, you say it’s been reworked. Anyway, excellent balance of description and action–I was compelled to read on and on.

Here’s a bit of interest: at TQR, on page 17 of the article, at the bottom, it goes like this:

He kept on.

END

For MJG’s bio, turn the page

So it seemed to me, as I finished that page, that the story was done there. And then it went ahead and continued for one more page. Surely a mistake on the account of the webmasters at TQR. But then, perhaps because I’d already, momentarily assumed that He kept on was the end of it, I kind of felt that that was how it should’ve ended. Now the final page with Elspeth is nice, but to me it seems almost unnecessary. Certainly he allows her touch, and that is important to his character, and what do I know? I guess that premature END really threw me off! And I thought it interesting that it did.

Anyway: excellent, and congratulations!

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